Harmony Vane, with her name as serendipitous as her life's mission, is an author, humorist, and self-styled cultural detective who has devoted her existence to a musical paradox: the hunt for bands from the seventies that swore off the era's notorious indulgences. Born to parents who missed Woodstock because they couldn't find their car keys, Harmony's destiny seemed written in the stars—or perhaps in the liner notes of a forgotten album.

Her book, "Sober Bands of the Seventies," which critics have hailed as "a masterclass in the art of chasing one's tail," is the culmination of years spent sifting through thrift store record bins and interviewing increasingly incredulous rock icons. Harmony graduated summa cum laude from the University of Vinyl Records with a groundbreaking thesis on "The Imaginary Influence of Teetotalers on Punk Rock."

Harmony's seminars, such as "Decoding Dylan: Was Mr. Tambourine Man Just a Fan of Percussion Instruments?" and "The Who: Pinball Wizards or Sober Strategists?", have earned her a dedicated following of both skeptics and believers. Her lectures are often punctuated by her own renditions of classic rock hits, sung with revised, substance-free lyrics that she insists the original artists simply forgot to record.

Offstage, Harmony is an avid collector of vintage soda pop tabs and a regular at karaoke bars, where she's known for her spirited, if not entirely accurate, covers of songs she insists were misinterpreted by the public. Despite her countless hours of research, Harmony Vane's quest continues, fueled by the belief that somewhere in the vinyl grooves lies the truth—provided it hasn't been too warped by time.

Beyond the Book  S02E09 - Harmony Vane's 'Sober Bands of the Seventies'

In this far-out episode, Quinn Quill and Paige Turner groove their way through Harmony Vane’s quirky masterpiece, "Sober Bands of the Seventies." The book that has everyone asking: Did any band in the '70s actually stay sober, or is it just an urban legend wrapped in a psychedelic haze?

Quinn, with his scholarly approach, muses over Harmony’s wild journey as a “cultural detective” on the hunt for straight-edge rockers in an era known for indulgence. “It's a deep dive into a paradox,” he says, “and the best part is, the book's as clean as the bands Harmony never found—empty pages, man!”

Meanwhile, Paige can’t stop laughing at Harmony’s deadpan humor and the way she rewrites the story of the '70s without a single note played. “This is not just a book,” Paige exclaims. “It’s a cosmic joke! An empty stage waiting for the band that never arrived.”

Tune in as Quinn and Paige embrace the silence and chase the ghosts of a sober rock scene that never was. This episode is a mind-bending celebration of music, emptiness, and Harmony Vane’s relentless quest for the clean-living bands that may or may not have existed. Peace, love, and blank pages, man!